Please don't be what I think you are

One week ago, my dear sweet boy was put down for a nap, like he always is, and drifted off to dreamland with the sound of his ocean machine lulling him into blissful dreamtime splendor. Wait...let me back up. His daddy put him down for a nap...WITH NO PANTS ON. A few hours goes by and I hear him stirring through the monitor. I usually let it go for awhile, depending on the noises he is making as sometimes he falls back to sleep. Well, I had one of those mommy moments...you know, the ones that say, "Psst, you better get yer ass in there cuz something is going on." Yeah, that kind of moment. I calmly walk to the "baby wing" of the house, pass the doggie gate, hand on door handle, ease open the door and see that my beautiful son is sitting up in his crib, sans diaper, playing with SOMETHING.... Something BROWN!

My god, the human brain is well equipt for trauma, DENIAL was my first response, I flipped through the rolodex of possible substances, no way could that be what I think it is, I said aloud, "Please don't be what I think you are!" I flip on the light, OMFG you are what i think you are. Hands COVERED, fingernails caked, little mudpies everywhere, he was actively pulling apart a little nugget when I finally looked at his face. The first thing I did was look at his mouth and asked him to smile... I am pretty sure none of it went in, but we did brush our teeth, TWICE.

I like to think he's going to be a pathologist and he was doing his first bit of research.

So, I yell, "I'M HAVING AN EMERGENCY!!" I remove the child from the crib and place him directly into the bathtub. So... do you fill up the tub w/ water and let him soak in the poop water? Do you just rinse? So many choices! I ended up filling up, scrubbing, draining water, rinsing out tub and then filled up the tub again with clean water.

I called my sweet husband, detailed the events and his response was, "We will speak of this to noone!"

Yeah, right!