Saturday, November 17, 2007

Patience and a playdate

So, I haven't really written in a while. The new camera has been fun and I have enjoyed sharing pictures and video with everyone.

I had a revealation today in the playroom. Jonas isn't so different from me. He wants what he wants when he wants it. When he doesn't get it, he gets mad...sometimes really mad and hits me or throws something at me. I too get mad like this, but I have impulse control! This is such basic social workey stuff and I can't believe it never occured to me. He is little and has no impulse control. This changes everything in my mind. I have to be first instinct when he hits or throws is to get MAD. Sometimes I feel stupid for not predicting the behavior and being taken off guard, but mostly I just feel mad. Having the insight that he "has no impulse control" I think will allow me more patience and less of an anger response. HOWEVER, this does not preclude me from correcting this behavior in the most loving way I can manage at the time.
I think, the best way to deal is to pay close attention and deescalate the situation before he gets to throwin' punches. This is not always practical, as it requires my intense attention to every second (which is not possible, although is my unrealistic expectation). The next best way I can come up with is taking his arm/hand and say no hitting, that hurts mommy. Give mommy gentle touches...then I show him what that means. I know, I know...its not going to work... it doesn't address that he's acting out cuz he's frustrated, but it makes me feel better doing something about it. I imagine it will get better when he can speak to me.

Second issue: I am wonder woman! Seriously! Last night (Geoffrey worked at the Emergency clinic) I was on my own with Jonas. I decided I wanted to treat myself to some sushi. off we went. I managed a 19 month old, by myself, while enjoying an awesome sushi dinner. This was not our first meal out alone...but this place was quiet and kinda fancy. Here are the tricks.
1. Order his food as an appetizer... he got japanese style chicken mcnug's. Chicken tempura, sans the rice and dipping sauces. The food comes quick and you need the time for it to cool off, that stuff is lava hot. (also ask for a fork and knife, you'll need it to cut up the molten lava chicken,and it will cool off faster)
2. Get two sushi menu's. One for the boy to flail around and ultimately throw on the floor so the waitress has to come interact with your child, giving you ten seconds to pencil in your own order.
3. Squeeze out the edamame onto a plate for the boy to eat. He loves it and this gives you time to drink your yummy green tea.
4. Time to dispense the chicken, in small portions at a time. This gives you the illusion that he will not run out of food while you are eating so you think you can savor and enjoy your meal. Ultimately, you end up gobbleing it up to avoid the 19 mo old squirming while you are eating your Ikura.
5. Pay the bill as soon as they bring the waiting around after the meal is done. This presents only a small issue if you are like an american idol judge on the service before you tip..I'm a standard 20%er..from years of working in food service, so this is not an issue for me.
6. OH! Keep the warm washcloth thingy from the begining of the meal, nice to wipe off the kiddo with.

Ta Dah!
Aside from my kid saying hello to everyone in full voice, (its a quiet little restaurant with that tinkling japanese music) we were pretty inconspicuous.

Today we are "supposed" to go to a playdate. I have only been to one...I think we will make it, my social anxiety in mommy situations is really stiffling both of us. We'll see.

Ok... off to print out the recipes I'm gonna cook for Tgiving so I can write my grocery list.

Blessings to all.

1 comment:

Alyssa said...

Decided to check in on one of my favorite blogs. What a lucky little man!

P.S. Am I really ever going to be ready for this...