So this afternoon, whilst giving my darling boy a bath...he reaches for "the goods", looks at me and says, "Pee pee on the potty." I think I just smiled and nodded, I truly wasn't paying attention. He said again, "Pee pee potty!" "You want to pee pee on the potty?" "YES!"
I stand up, grab him under the pitts and place his slippery hiney on the potty. I am squatting in front of him, holding him on the seat. He's looking down at "mr. winky"..... I'm looking at "mr. winky" and lo and behold.... dribble, dribble. I exclaim, "PEE PEE"..."Good job, you are such a big boy" He BEAMED! He reached over and flushed, I asked if he was finished and he nodded. As soon as his feet hit the floor he says, "More pee pee potty". I thought to myself, "self... this may be a on and off the potty game here....but if its not..." So I put him back on the pot. To both of our delight, a stream...yes folks, a stream. I shouted all the encouraging words I could articulate, he squealed with delight...a good time was had by all.
Watching him on the potty was really kind of intense. It made me think about how hard it is to let go. Seriously, he learned, in the tiniest way...that its ok to let go. Of course, his lesson was just about urine this time, but it was the first of many opportunites to let go he is going to have in his life. I hope to be a part of those lessons....maybe not so much in a I'm-holding-you-by-the-armpits-watching-you-pee kind of way, but an equally significant way. It was about letting go for me too. It hit me that my entire job is teaching this kiddo how to depend on himself... to not need me at all. I think this must be the hardest part of mothering; a part that not all moms do very well. I really want my kiddo to be independant and self assured, to take off running and not look back; trusting that I will be there when he turns around. (Sigh)
Later..much, much later after dinner etc.. I put one of those, smaller kiddo potty seats onto his toilet. We got toward the back of the house, to go get ready for bed and I asked if he had to go "pee pee potty". He squealed, YES!! So this time he had a seat with handles he could hold on to, which was nice...for both of us.
He did his business. I said, you know, you can poop on the potty too! Do you know, my child loves me so much, he squeezed out a little gem for me...right then. I was so proud... I swear I almost cried.